Wednesday, September 27, 2006

English is Stupid!

Well... I've been rather involved in English teaching these past several weeks. I found out that by teaching my two very special students, Claudio and Camila, together that it will count as my practicum teaching for 20 hours. They both are two very fun students but very different... talk about a multilevel classroom! 12 and 32, male, female, motivation 1: communication with family members motivation 2: school, learning styles are very different... one is my boyfriend... the other my friend.... a classroom can get complicated and challenging fast!
Anyways... I have enjoyed it very much! In honor of teaching english as second language... here is a poem titled: English is stupid!
Lets face it
English is a stupid langauge.
There is no egg in eggplant;
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the
And while no one knows what is in a hot dog,
you can be pretty sure it isn't canine.
English muffins were not invented in
French fries were not invented in

We sometimes take English for granted.
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly.
Boxing rings are square.
And a guinea pig is neither from
Guinea nor is it a pig.
Sweetmeats are candies, while
which aren't sweet, are meat.

If writers write, how come fingers don't fing?
If the plural of tooth is teeth,
One goose, two geese.
So one moose, two meese?
Is cheese the plural of choose?
One mouse, two mice; one louse two lice,
one house two hice?
Shouldn't the plural of phone boothe be phone beeth?
If the teacher taught, why didn't the
preacher praught?
Or the grocer groce, or hammers ham?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables,
what the heck does a humanitarian eat?
Why do people recite at a play,
yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and drive on parkways?
Ship by truck, and send cargo by
Have feet that smell and noses that
How can the weather be as hot as hell
one day
and as cold as hell on another

You have to marvel at the unique
of a language wherea house can burn
up as
it burns down,
and in which you fill in a form
by filling it out
and a bell is only heard once it goes!
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
while a wise man and a wise guy are

English was invented by people, not
and it reflects the creativity of the human race
(which of course isn't a race at all)
That is why
you get in and out of a car, and on and
off a bus.
When the stars are out they are visible
but when the lights are out they are
And why it is that when I wind up my
it starts,
but when I wind up this poem,
it ends.

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