I had been looking forward to the possibility of having a child since we got married, but the logical side of me said it'd be better for us to wait a little while. I had our budget planned for paying off debts, and just stabalizing ourselves, our marriage, and our finances. The plan was going that by November of 2008 we could start trying. Clau and I quickly saw that perhapse we needed some more time (financially).
I realize that my husband's dream, and really our future was not in my English Teaching, or in him playing music on the weekends at the bar. However, the Lord had graciously provided ALL that we needed through those two jobs over the past year. Our future really was in Claudio's art.
Around September it was like my heart just became obssessed and encumbered in having a baby. It was all I could think about. I think I had even tricked my body for a couple of months into a menstural delay, and thinking, "I'm pregnant!"... and I wasn't. To some degree the thrill and excitment of those 5 minutes waiting to see the two red lines or not, and us talking about the "what if's", was a degree of fulfillment of my hopes, but in the end there was always just one red line.
I had realized that, as confident as I was that my husband would do anything to provide for his family, that if I got pregnant that most likely Claudio would have to stop his persuite of art and be confined to 60 hour weeks, 7 days a week, cutting out Church activities and hospitality, in a dead end job, just to provide for his family of 3.... and that THAT is not what we needed... or wanted for our future as a family. And the Lord gave me peace with that reality.
Then, on January 1st, 2009 the Lord surprised us ALL and gave us those two red lines. He gave us a baby. I was scared. I had just come to grasps with waiting for our family, waiting on Clau's entry into art... and just waiting.... and NOW.... what's going to happen? What about all those reasons we had decided to wait?
Today,... 5 months later, as I feel the kicks of our baby inside me, the Lord has provided Claudio with a job in art, and with the promise of many more possibilties and growth. He's given both Claudio and I great peace and humility in how to raise this little one, and He has entwined our hearts closer than ever before.
So in one year, we've become parents, Clau's got an art job, He's been published in a comic book, my parents move away, our church has moved to a new building and is growing, and the Lord is giving us grace upon grace in all of these events... and there is still so many more to come. We still have a house hunt, a move and a BIRTH ahead of us!
I have to take one moment here and gloat about my husband. He is a FANTASTIC artist... and finally people are recognizing him and PAYING him for it! He's recieved two jobs, one full time, and the other with a promising future and lots of oppertunities! I'm so proud of him... and more importantly I am so thankful for his steadiness, his hard work, his patience, his perseverance, and his faith that even though the ball may hit on the line... it's fair. So many times, I cannot recount them all, we've come up to the very last minute, or the last option... and the Lord has so faithfully fullfilled His promises, and provided exactly what we needed and WHEN we needed it.
So Praise God from whom all blessings flow!
Praise Him above ye heavenly hosts
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Gohst!